Shut Your Mouth :P

Guess what! We finally put our Sunway Lagoon passport to good use after a long time! Sanzu, Pravs, Moots, Nar and myself went there yesterday. Mother Sanzu (named after Mother Theresa) came along but didn’t go on any of the rides coz she wasn’t feeling too well. Next to Jesus and Mrs. Home Minister, she’s one sacrificial person I can think of. We were supposed to get in the park at least by 1pm so that we’d come out early and spend time with Jusu and Navs but, God bless KTM and our time management, we were late (not surprised).

Reminiscing the first time we went there, we had so much preparation done. I mean Jusu and Sanzu did the preps and all I did was to hide the chocolates in the middle of our clothes. After all the staff there don’t unwrap your clothes to find stuff. (This happens when a bunch of auditors face internal controls, we bypass them). But this time around, we walked in like bosses at 2.30pm, freehandedly, except for Mother Sanzu. She was in charge of the bag department.

Pravs and I changed and then… the screaming started. I mean we started going for the rides. What I should have done was to remind myself zillion times to shut my mouth during the rides. You see, I’ve got this unsurpassed talent in screaming and the rides in Lagoon don’t help. Some of it was scary and due to this yelling routine of mine, I tend to scream all the way down and when we get pushed into the pool, fuhh, everything just entered my mouth. Idk if they realized the water level in Sunway Lagoon reducing yesterday coz me and Pravs were practically drinking it. Such whales.

Anyways, smart me reminded myself to not get my butt too much into the float coz some of the rides had ‘float stoppers’, I don’t really know what the term is but if your butt is kinda flat and too deep into the float, you’ll end up screaming ‘ouchhh my butt’ (like how I did the first time). Thank God my poor butt didn’t come off the last time I was there.

I had fun screaming and Sanzu was like, Kezi, I knew y’all were coming down the Vuvuzela because I heard you screaming like entah what. I’m a talented screamer and I kinda pitied Moots & Narr that they had to bear with us chickens. Trust me people, I’m all about girl power, but then these amusement park rides scare the hell outta my life.

We didn’t have much time to go on the dry rides (sorry Sanzu), but at least the other visitors on the Roller Coaster and Pirate Ship didn’t go deaf, because of you know who. Let’s say that we covered quite a few rides in 3 hours:

  1. The Kubarango – Pravs gave me a heart attack. She was coughing and couldn’t get up from the float. Oh my Lord, I was like wth to do and water was pouring all over us. I promise I felt like screaming at the people there to stop the water thingy. Then finally Narr came, used his senses, and Pravs got up. Hallelujah.

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    Look at our expressions during Kubarango. 
  2. Monsoon 360 – I prayed and asked God to forgive all my sins while they did the countdown. I was that scared and the people outside waiting for the ride told me not to worry and that I’ll reach down safely. How assuring. 25 seconds later, I happily drank Chlorine water and got out of the ride shivering.
  3. Vuvuzela – the usual, scream, scream, screammmm while Narrs and Moots laughed at my misery.
  4. 5D Waterplexx – I’m gonna bring an umbrella in here the next time coz water was splashing/pouring/coming out of some damn hole and wetting us. The wonderful specs they gave us had water droplets the whole time – how to watch the show? So yeah, bring an umbrella guys, to cover yourself and watch in peace. Also, dear Sunway Lagoon, you might wanna invest in Uncle Sivaji the Boss’ specs, the one with wipers. Thank you.
  5. Aladdin’s mat – I think I had osteoporosis or something. After getting up, my back felt as if I was a 60-year-old grandma.

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    Congo Challenge ride, but I don’t care, I’m renaming it to Aladdin’s mat. 
  6. Cobra Creek – the person in charge of the ride, wanted to send me alone. Coconut. To top that, he was even smoking. Was so nearing to slapping him (virtually), but then Pravs got on the float and off we went. God saved him from my wrath.
  7. Boa Constrictor – not sure if that’s the name of the ride. But not bad, I got to do my hobby – scream.
  8. African Pythons – scream, scream and waiting when the world we would see light. It was pitch black but not so scary. Finally saw Sanzu taking pics of us.
  9. Cameron Climb – Was very particular about not getting my butt hurt here. Survived it successfully!
  10. Surf Beach – Pravs would have died if not for me. Moots & Narrs are such bullies, they were tryna hold her under water. Donkeys. I feel like a saviour. (You can thank me later Pravs).

The sad thing is that our passports are ending on 25th January. For the next 1 week, I feel like putting up every day in Lagoon now that I don’t have classes but I’ll be alone. How I wish my group of monkeys (read: friends) can work our schedules and head there one last time. I badly want to scream in Jusu and Sanzu ears the next time <3. #soomuchlove.

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What If…

Happy New Year 2018!

I know you’re probably thinking wth Kezia, get a calendar for yourself it’s freaking 17th January and you finally say Happy New Year?! What a disgrace.

Okay sorry, so here’s the thing I’ve been ultra busy. By busy, I meant that I needed to catch up with all the house chores, read my novels (957 pages, done within 10 hours), have a Masterchef marathon to inspire myself to cook and not burn the house. 10 videos later, I’m still finding inspiration, coz, fuh the small lil kids from Masterchef Junior are like saying fancy words such as zucchini, seared salmon, mashed petaytoes (that’s how they pronounce the word ‘Potatoes’, I got it after some time), and a list of stuff. They know how to cook weyh, I cannot tahan. My self-esteem is somewhere near the drain in my house. But it’s okay, sis sabar, I’m still doing good with my milo making, spreading Nutella on my bread, heating up the curry from the fridge, and making half-boiled eggs.

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Speaking about Master Chefs. Mrs. Home Minister is kinda disturbed at how the Masterchefs from Australia waste one block of butter to cook a few potatoes. Few potatoes as is just 3-4 medium sized cubes. And she’s like, now we know wth Michelin star restaurants is super expensive, they need to cover for the ingredients they’ve wasted. So dear chefs from gourmet restaurants, in case you’re reading my blog (idk why you would, but in case you do), please explain your wasteful behavior to my mum. She is really concerned.

Reason No. #2

I don’t really know how others write, or how they get themselves to write, but for me, I usually blog when I’m happy. But don’t get me wrong, the number of posts doesn’t represent the times I’ve been happy coz I’ve been a way happier than the 21 posts I’ve written. However, ever since 1st Jan 2018, I have a bunch of ‘What If’s and they’ve been worrying me.

Here are some examples:

  • what if some coconut (I meant guy) comes to ponne pakeran
  • what if the mango tree falls
  • what if Malaysia ends up with a new season like winter
  • what if San & Shoransotong leave Seremban to further study
  • what if I grow shorter
  • what if I don’t pass P3

LOL. So the main thing which has been on my mind was what if I don’t pass ACCA’s P3. Almost a year ago, I had one nightmare with F9 and that was enough. Therefore, I was probably the holiest & best person both Jesus & God had witnessed for the past one and a half months.

I had lesser wars with G, did all the house chores, went for all the church meetings (I always do okay), I tried to like the people I dislike – I cannot love love all la. Too over. Besides, my name is Kezia (not Jesus) and fared well. Thank God I didn’t take my serrupe (slippers) and whack them whenever they said something stupid. Plus whenever I thought of mentally slapping, pulling their hair, whacking them with my heels, I thought of my P3 results and calmed myself down.

Finally, the day came, and by God’s grace, I passed P3 – wohoo. All my efforts of being like Mother Kezia (Mother Theresa) and Mahatma Ruth (Mahatma Gandhi) were paid off!

So now that my results are out, you probably think I can just lash anyone I dislike right? But nope, you’re wrong… I still have P1 to sit for. I badly need to be a good girl and pass it before the damn SBL thingy comes out. I ain’t sitting for P1 and P3 again baby.

Praying so hard that no one gets on my nerves very seriously for the next few months.

But coming to think of all the ‘nice’ things I’ve handled calmly, throughout the past months, it seems like good idea to handle evil with good. Thank God the Bible only says to love your enemies, not hug your enemies whenever you see them. That would have been so susah bhai. Jokes asides, it feels good to be at peace and carry with life, whilst those who irritate/annoy/aggravate you stay the same coz it runs in their DNA. Therefore, as much as I previously thought that I should be a bit angel-like till I pass the remaining papers in ACCA, I guess, it’s best to stay that way lifelong. After all, what you sow that’s what you will reap a.k.a karma.

Also to the (5) people who read my blog relentlessly, please pray that I don’t be such a lazy bum bum and blog more frequently.

Lastly, here is another one of Gordon’s insults. If you don’t get it, please pray for yourself, you need a sense of humour. xoxo, Kezia.

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Turning Twenteen

21 days ago, I turned 20 (it’s pronounced twenteen, because I cannot accept the letters ‘ty’ when I state my age). The back pains and heel pains, as well as headaches I get, are a clear sign that – I am aging (sobs, I sound so old). Well, that reminds me to wear high heels less often too. But in case you know me, you know my hatred for kitten heels, like hello, you either wear flats or 4 inches. No in-betweens please, coz those 2 inches heels are considered a disgrace to the high heel wearing community. Okay, no more rants about being old, old is gold –  also no one wears gold anymore. (double ouch).

Now, to be decent enough, I’ll give you a recap of almost everything which took my breath away. After all, my twenteenth (20th) year was ah-mazing, filled with discoveries, rediscoveries and most importantly – they year I fell in love.

So as every other normal person, I lived a life, not knowing what to expect and trying to control what happened the next day, till I got sick and tired of everything. Like literally everything. There was a time I was so happy about everything around and I thought to myself – how good can life get than this, and then God showed me how he could turn things upside down, left side right.

A few days passed and finally, I fell in love. (Thank God la I didn’t have to wait so long)

It all happened one day when I was thinking about how and why my pretty cupcake-like life had turned as sour as uruga (pickle) just then I saw a car stopped right in front of me and the bumper sticker read ‘GOD LOVES YOU’. You know, that feeling, of blood rushing directly to your brain when your crush smiles, yeah, I had that #peeling after looking at those words.

I mean every week Pastor says that ‘God Loves You’ phrase at least 2 million times during a meeting but it never hit me so hard. That’s why for errumemaades (buffaloes) like me, God turns your life upside down, so that you finally realize that God loves you and come back to Him! Then I thought to myself, idiot you Kezia, you could have left this to God from the start. Surprising, I was totally okay with everything which had happened. The best thing was, I didn’t have to be in control of my life, but rather He took the lead. It took me some time, knowing that my plans weren’t God’s and his plans were a way higher than mine!

Talking about plans and ways. Last year, I was so free to plan and come up with my resolutions. You can read it here and let’s see how far I fared.

  1. Learning How to Cook

To be safe I’ll learn how to cook once Mr. Prime Minister buys another house. Just in case I burn the one we are currently living in, we will always have a backup. Also, I was supposed to learn how to cook simple meals in the rice cooker, cooking rice is simple enough, so yeah. Mr Prince Charming I hope you can survive with plain rice and milo. This will also teach you to not ponne pakkeran me in the next 4 years. (you’ve been warned).

2. Blog

I’ve blogged around 19 times and considering my as-busy-as-Barack-Obama lifestyle – not bad!

3. Being more Godly

Yes, more than last year for sure. (Jesus, remember the time I finally fell in love with you? that counts) And another thing, I spent around 15 hours a day in church during Seremban convention. I ate, mandi and practically did everything there – that’s a whole lot of being holy!

4. Saving my hair

Oh my poor hair. Yays, I finally got back my curls and no turning back to ironing/relaxing/doing any crappy stuff which involves heat! For the record, I didn’t put avocado or cow dung on my hair ‘coz Family Store Seremban doesn’t sell it and I’m really busy to go elsewhere and find.

So much of happiness this year and I cannot express how blessed I feel. Many things fun things have happened (which I need to write) and G is always like Kezia when you gonna write this and when you gonna write that and I’m like, G when you gonna keep quiet? I can’t possibly write everything which made me smile this year but I can tell you about three groups of people who made my year <3.

#1. People in the Parliament:

Mr. Prime Minister & Mrs. Home Minister – the only people who love and care so much that they give me all the free lectures on how I should be more responsible by doing housework, switch of the toilet lights and not throw my heels all around the house.

G – we’re always at war, so much, that my dad is thinking of building a small tent in my house compound so that he and amma can move out there whenever we fight. But what to do, at the end of the day, I need someone to take my pictures and react to my FB posts, so we finally end our wars. Also, she does my hair, so we don’t fight on Sunday mornings, coz I need to look nice to church. Therefore if you see me looking nice, not with my chicken backside-like hairstyle in church, it’s her effort.

Then, Sanzu & Jusu-bin.

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Met Ms Michael Kors & Chapati

The two people who get some much of coverage on my Insta -stories because everything is absolutely fun when they’re around. God knows how I found them in college and we became friends but I pray they stay anti-social so I’ll be the only adorable person they’ll have to handle. It’s fun when your fun sized, and your friends are tall, you get to be the boss and also they do things like holding your hands when you cross the road. Oh Lord.

 

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Last but not least, the people whom I meet like 3 times a week all year round – Bridesmaid Band.

IMG_2372One of our best memories this was the Youth Camp – an eye-opener + holiday for the 6 of us. God bless the torch lights we used to shine on our way to the washroom. Nothing beats 6 of us scrunched on those beds – laughing. Also, dear aunty/uncle/whomever who split the 6 of us and put us in different rooms, this will teach you that your efforts to split us, as always, will be in vain. Thank God I didn’t bring my heels there, ‘coz oh my goodness, my feet would have cried in Spanish. The ground was so so so uneven! Also, in case you read my post here, you might know our love for washing toilets. Yes, you read it right – washing toilets (but only the ones in church la okay).

Andddd… That’s a wrap for this year! I got to go get ready for our Year End service in church. Hoping that in 2018, God makes everything beautiful in His time! (so holy, Amen!)

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Bridesmaid Band – 1 (Sharon)

 

 

 

Have a great year ahead! Love, Kezia ❤

Sweet Sarcasm

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According to research (done by Prof. RKH Muthu – obviously) travelling via public transport i.e. KTM, LRT, BRT, bus, batmobile etc increases creativity and sarcasm by leaps and bounds. Below are some excerpts from the thoughts that run in my mind! 6 hours of journey bro, what else do you expect. A big thank you to modern day applications such as ‘Evernote’ – I’ve never stopped noting down my excessively sarcastic & sweet thoughts.

I’m supposed to be studying for my P3 mock exams, but I’m in need of a break from Mr Porter, Mr Harmon, Ms Swimlane (don’t worry it has nothing to do with swimming) and a bunch of other people. So yeah – it’s time to de-stress (something which I’ve been doing since morning)

Previously, I’ve posted some of these via insta stories and some of my fans (I mean friends) did have a good laugh! Have fun reading, incase you didn’t laugh, don’t tell anyone else that you didn’t.

Let’s start off with something really…. ummm. spicy.

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an Evernote screenshot

Dear ACCA, despite our love-hate relationship, I’ll always thank you for what you’ve taught me. I am also considering if I should become a detective next. Please advise.


Next Up: When in doubt, wear slippers.

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With or without high heels, a lady should know how to protect herself. You can thank me for this free advice, later.

Ps. serrupe addi = getting whacked with a slipper/sandals


Introducing: my travel mate – Mr LRT

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I was so near to singing Let It Go in the train, but considerate me didn’t wanna offend the other passengers with my oh-so-Siti-Nurhaliza-like voice, so I decided to shut up sit.


Last but not least: A note to Mr Prince Charming’s parents. 

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In short, I’m short – yet filled with sweet, spice, sarcasm and everything nice.

Till the next time!

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Meet Mr Fiancé

It has been quite some time, precisely 1 year+ ever since I got into a relationship, few months ever since I got engaged and I think it’s time you meet Mr. Fiancé. Previously, I’ve mentioned about visiting us at our humble abode here, but I’m assuming many of you are still confused on where we live and on how the heck he looks. So here’s a picture of him (cue: awwww. I’m so sweet). *drumroll*

Tadaa. Lo and behold, my future in red. He’s so sweet, caring, loving, torturing, stressful and so much more that ‘his’ parents decided to name him – ACCA, Think Ahead.

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He has been playing such a biggggg (I cannot emphasise more) role in my life, so much that I’m wondering who, when and how am I supposed to get married (to a real human, of course). Mr. Fiancé has been the main reason I spend lesser time with my family, friends and everyone else under the sun.

Last week, I had a meeting (I mean Mock Exams) with Mr. Fiancé. Gosh, I was in such a mess, skipping all my other work, running helter skelter to find for my sweater and stationeries. I remember during one of our meetings where I was supposed to take notes (a.k.a writing down answers on the exam paper), I was freaking distracted because of the stuff that were running in my mind and I was using liquid paper (read: correction tape) more than I used my pen! But honestly, I extend my deepest sympathies to the person who’s going to mark my F9 paper though (I’m sorry teacher, incase you’re reading this).

Life is tough with him but nevertheless I said, YES – to love and to cherish every complicated IAS, to honour every single IFRS, to be on time for every 8am class even if it means missing breakfast and wearing jogging pants (I don’t jog, I bought that pants for fun and now I use it to class), to respect all the F-level and P-level papers, to worship all the audit firms for 3 years till I become certified Chartered Accountant and then to follow all the preset rules by the aunties’ of my society to get married fast etc etc… (Sorry the person you’re trying to contact is self-willed, please try again later for an illechevai.

That’s how ‘exciting’ my life has been people 😛 But hey, I’m still happy with all the zillions of stuff which have been happening too.

To whomever who has been waiting when the world would I post something true about my relationship(s), I suggest you keep waiting till Jesus comes. Amen. Blessed Easter (I’m so good at changing topics, Hallelujah!).

xoxo till the next time I rant write,

SSpice.

[ps: illechevai – I’m still finding how to explain it in english]

Don’t Send Me Music Videos

For me, love should either be in the form of buying me ice-cream (a tub would do), high heels (I dare you to show up with kitten heels) or simply just not sending me music videos.

Music videos usually don’t have lyrics (like obviously, you’re supposed to know) and that’s my problem. If you’re sending me the music video because of the pictures/scenery/how handsome the fella is then okay, but if you think that I’m going to listen to the lyrics/words behind it, you are so wrong – I never will!
I guess someone might have understood that.

There goes one of my favourite songs. I could have easily put the music video but no, I’m having it my way!

xoxo,

Spice

 

 

Resolution – 2017 x 365 pixels

Well everyone who knows me obviously knows that I’m kinda absent minded (sometimes) and this always happens when I constantly hang around with my phone and forget on wth is happening around me. Occasionally Frequently, mumzy (previously known as Home Minister) gives me these free ceramahs (lectures) and it sometimes it makes me wish I could record and post them on Youtube. You’d never know who’d be seeing and benefiting from it and probably I’ll have to sleep under the mango tree that night because of that. Continue reading “Resolution – 2017 x 365 pixels”