Celebrating Valentine’s

What if Valentine’s Day was a marketing technique to finish of all the leftover chocolates by selling them at a higher price? This Valentine’s learn from me ūüėõ

#JK ‚̧ #ACCAlookwhatyouvedone

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Incase you are reading this post on the 13th /14th February, there are high chances that either you’re single, a rational human being (here’s¬†a medal), or plainly an accountant/auditor to-be. Anyway, here’s what you’ve saved yourself from –

1. buying a handful of overpriced chocolates,

2. rushing out of the house at 4pm to reach that fancy dinner place or else you’ll be stuck in the jam (jam as in traffic jam, not in a bottle of blueberry jam!),

3. praying that the petals in the bouquet of flowers stay in-tact till it reaches whoever it’s supposed to

4. trying to smell good by emptying 1/2 of your bottle of perfume (you’d smell so good -no need to mandi¬†for the next whole week)

5. pulling off the whole romantic look, ensuring you don’t look like a vampire with that mascara thingy.

6. trying make everything “on-point” and “lit”, as if the world is gonna end tomorrow night and you’ll never have another day to celebrate with your significant half.

The list goes on and on, but wait – when was the last people (and by saying people, I mean you) realised that they should be celebrating their loved ones everyday? You think they exist on the day before Valentine’s day then pooff, gone in a puff of smoke?

Beside’s, I got to my senses and realised that Valentine’s day usually means siding/supporting/pampering/ spoiling women (which is goooood!). However, the last time I checked, men were a part of the human race too!

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#BoyfriendGoalsBox. Such a pretty flat lay and the stuff cost RM 300. pc: RADKL

The above picture is obviously for girls, but why don’t I see similar stuff for guys – talk about equality here.

Here’s what I found (nothing indecent since I did my own research/assumption) for¬†the ultimate #GirlfriendGoalsBox:

1. ¬†The last time I got lectured regarding some comic-thingy, there was something called DC Comics and Marvel. If your fella likes gaming and Marvel (don’t buy this if he is a DC Comics fan, he’ll just run away – I guess) you can get this from Amazon, it’s approximately RM 570. Besides loving you and your life, he will love this mouse next. mouse-vdayHere’s a tip – make sure you use your own money, credit card or what ever which keeps you safe so that you don’t have to face the Supreme Judge & lawyers (a.k.a your parents) in court (the living room at home). They might give you serupaddi if they find out you bought a mouse for a freaking RM 570 (the things we do to show our love).

2. Buy him stuff he’s always wanted even though sometimes you might not like it. For example, the keyboard below – I would put this in a tadika computer lab to encourage kids to be IT savvy because it looks so colourful. You’d never know how life-changing/life-enhancing it can be for him. (hahahahaha, I’m tryna imagine myself buying this)keyboard

3. Cook something¬†out of love since everybody loves food! Even if it turns out crappy he’ll be happy to try it and then maybe you guys can order McD/PizzaHut/any other food which tastes like food.


After all these years, I don’t really see why people are gung-ho celebrating each other for a day and not really for the rest of their lives. Like hello, what’s the point of celebrating only for February 14th? They sell chocolates/roses/mouses/keyboards/clothes/insert anything you feel like getting – for the rest of the year too, get them occasionally to surprise him or her.

Don’t get me wrong, you can buy roses, flowers, a flower pot, or even the entire Cameron Highlands and Holland (their tulips are so beautiful) for Valentine’s. But I’m 101% sure your efforts are going to be of waste if you don’t have something priceless to offer in your relationship.

Here¬†is something money can’t buy, not only this Valentine’s but all through out your life – Honesty, Sincerity and True Love.

(runs to get the Samosa)

If not for those, you might end up buying dozens of roses, boxes of chocolates or cooking for a different person each year (so not fun and it takes a lot of tissues).


Therefore, this Valentine’s,take my tip (you can thank me later)…

  • Stop creating constructive obligations for the following years. Mind your own business (MYOB) and celebrate love all year round, except today!
  • If Mr/Ms. Best Half offers you that Marvel Mouse thingy/ the pretty look box with 6 tiny macaroons and other stuff, tell them :-

“As per the ACCA code of Ethics and Conduct the presents are not of modest value and might impair your judgement when future misunderstandings occur. Politely decline the gifts offered(even though you badly want them).”

Pheww… I just revised a teeny weeny bit of IAS 37 and Professional Ethics (Audit).

 

I got engaged

Female. Indian. Major (read: above 18)
3 suitors (sexist options available: law, medicine, accountancy)
1 choice.
Engaged
And the rest is written (as my thaleielluthe [fate] ) on my blog.
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#tillgraduationdouspart #ilikewhatido

This was supposed to be a top secret but I didn’t want people to miss me, so here’s the truth (lies, a lorry full of lies). I got engaged this Monday at 8.05 am. The engagement took place in my email – from ACCA, which sent shivers down my spine. Honestly, I’ve never been so scared of a damn email. It was bitter sweet, taking my relationship to the next phase. So much harder, yet blissful. Hopefully, I end up marrying him.

It took me a week to decide if my future husband and I would adopt a few kids. I decided to go with 3 and named them F7, F8, F9 (sorry, no nicer names available) . After class, I went to visit Mr.Hubby at his apartment and you can visit (us) too.¬†Here’s our address incase you feel like paying a visit : HF 5661, Tun Hussein Onn Library, Sun-U. I’ve attached a picture too, so that you don’t lose your way find us. Complimentary samosas upon arrival (coz I love ’em) but ¬†you might be chased out of the premises.

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Behold, our humble abode

To commemorate, our engagement, I bought/stole from G goodies for myself. I’m counting on these stuff to help me raise my kids. Having invested an initial investment of RM 20 ++ for highlighters and pens (more to buy) hopefully, these kids of mine have a Payback Period of 6 months. I expect a positive return on investment (ROI) and I hope they don’t devise plans to¬†senju¬†me.

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ACCA-engaged starter pack

Sorry, I didn’t have time and space to do engagement photo shoots, plus I didn’t want to look like a kirruke (mad person) posing with books in the library.

And here’s my two cents – incase you’d like to learn wth is payback period or ROI feel free to take CAT, ACCA, sacrifice your sleep, food, life, everything else and wait till you learn it in F9. (You can thank me once you register)

It’s probably going to take me a few more years depending on how fast or slow I want to commit and become a full time life-less person (not stating it here or else all the CCTV aunties will ask when I’m getting married, moving out, working, buying car/house/lorry/whatever la).

For sure I’ll be marrying the love of my life someday (real human) but till then, ACCA I’ll be with you till graduation do us part.

Holidays gone missing

It has been a few years since I got out of school (I’m old, I keep telling everyone but whyy they no listen???) which means it has been a few years since I got long holidays. This time around, I had a 1 month holiday (considerably long).

However, I realised that I simply have the power to make every holiday seem as short as possible no matter the length. Incase you need extra powers (like me), I can generously teach you how to make/feel any long holiday, short.

Part 1 – Sleeping/Waking Up habits ¬† ¬† [“8 hours – or it will cause brain damage”, Me]

Sleep late every night (3am) and blame it on past experiences such as studying for exams. Incase people don’t believe you tell them to take the same course. Trust me, they never will so at the end of the day you will win!

Before going to bed/retiring from your owl duties (that’s how I address¬†people¬†who stay up) try writing a note to your Mr/Mrs. Home Minister and tell them that you’ve had a long day and you can’t really change your sleeping habits because obviously – if you change, you’ll have troubling studying for exams next time. Tell them to not expect your presence for breakfast as early as 8am. 11am/12pm would be ideal and ensure that they save the leftovers.

(repeat this process until one day they threaten to chase you out of the house due to disciplinary problems.

**I’m still staying in my house so don’t worry)

Part 2 – Food [4 hours]

It is a general fact that every human on planet earth needs food to live. (I wrote this on my own, Google didn’t help me)¬†However, when you wake up late, do not expect bread, butter, corn flakes, milk, jam, scones, buns to be waiting for you at the dining table. It’s 11am and you have to drag your feet to the kitchen. Chances are high that you are unfamiliar with the kitchen (as you were away from home) and where the heck the food is. There comes the real treasure hunt¬†(food = treasure). Once you’re done eating, be nice and wash everything you find. This act of doing house chores can be used later on to brag when someone scolds you.

Lunch will be served around 1-2pm.

Dang, there goes 3-4 hours just spending your time on something so precious. FOOD.

Part 3 – Personal Entertainment [as long as you wish]

Starter pack: phone, laptop, earphone, a pillow, snacks, power bank, TV (not advisable then the whole house will be beside you and you will end up watch some harmless cooking show).

Act like you’ve been under stress the past few months and reiterate that holidays are meant to be spent however you want. It’s best if you find a room/cave/hut to hide yourself.

Finale РInvolvement of your future Mother-In-Law 

Now that you have done everything the opposite way of how a proper grown up girl should have done, you can patiently wait for your Home Minister’s (mum’s) lecture series.

Here’s what you can expect from her speech –

  • you better change or when you go to your mother in law’s house you’re gonna be so dead. how to be without cooking? or cleaning the house?

“errume maade¬†vaise anna onumeh seiye theriyeleh”¬†

translated as :

you’re as old as buffalo (as if they personally went and surveyed a bunch of buffaloes and found them as old as you) but you still don’t know how to do anything. (please don’t insult buffaloes, they’re hardworking)

(hahahah I had fun typing that. forgive my tamil)

And here’s how you can rebut that –

  • Dear minister, I am honoured to be in your presence today. This is the 21st century and I believe that women are not conformed to the kitchen. Men have their share too. If ever I find that my husband can’t cook and clean just as how I’m expected to do, I will by all means cancel the all wedding cards I’ve sent for printing and re-sell my wedding dress. The mere fact that my future mother in law scares you, is alarming. I do not know how would you be facing weightier matters such as the current currency issues, oil prices, landslide, earthquake, tsunami, insert anything which makes you look smart. With this I rest my case.

“addengappah. oru velleh seiyameh ivuloveh peicheh”

Which obviously means they can’t comprehend to how clever (in their terms – silly) you can get.

[it actually is – Omg, you can talk so much without doing work]


Hopefully someone benefits out of this micro mini-thesis of mine.

Astro Vaanavil, Vinmeen, SunTV (who ever la) incase your hosts are having flu, fever or pregnant please call me. I can do a favour by replacing them, now you know that my tamil is so polished.

 

Disclaimer:

I did have trouble waking up early during holidays but I got used to waking up early after some time. I’m so bad at cooking but I did help out at home so I didn’t get such bad lectures. Don’t worry, I’ll be bffs with my MIL in the future and treat her the same like mumzy (coz that’s what I’ve been taught).¬†However, I mean it when I say that a guy should share the work of cooking and cleaning especially when it’s your wife and mum. (you can bully your sister – sometimes).¬†

For once,

D I T C H     T H E     R O S E S , D O     T H E     D I S H E S. 

You’re future wives will love you and you can thank me in 5-10 years time. Oh and please tell my husband that I’m nice.

(Incase you’re getting married/just got married please give her roses also lah, don’t be so lame)

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I might settle for roses. They’re so prettayy¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†p.c. – pinterest

xoxo,

Spice

Don’t Send Me Music Videos

For me, love should either be in the form of buying me ice-cream (a tub would do), high heels (I dare you to show up with kitten heels) or simply just not sending me music videos.

Music videos usually don’t have lyrics (like obviously, you’re supposed to know) and that’s my problem. If you’re sending me the music video because of the pictures/scenery/how handsome the fella is then okay, but if you think that I’m going to listen to the lyrics/words behind it, you are so wrong – I never will!
I guess someone might have understood that.

There goes one of my favourite songs. I could have easily put the music video but no, I’m having it my way!

xoxo,

S&Spice

#fab14th

 

 

Resolution – 2017 x 365 pixels

Well everyone who knows me obviously knows that I’m kinda absent minded (sometimes) and this always happens when I constantly hang around with my phone and forget on wth is happening around me. Occasionally Frequently, mumzy (previously known as Home Minister) gives me these free ceramahs (lectures) and it sometimes it makes me wish I could record and post them on Youtube. You’d never know who’d be seeing and benefiting from it and probably I’ll have to sleep under the mango tree that night because of that. Continue reading “Resolution – 2017 x 365 pixels”