Part 1: How to Grill

Hey guys, everyone is in this unimaginable situation. This breakup with reality, with everything we’ve been used to and most importantly a breakup with our usual routine. But the good thing is I guess everyone is trying to stay safe, sane and do new stuff. If you’re that one person who’s got a timetable & ticking everything off your To-do list systematically, good for you. Guess what, I just got shocked by the screen time thingy on my phone yesterday (Saturday) and it showed 8 hours 36 minutes. That’s probably 6+ hours of watching Shark Tank (my new found craze) and few hours of switching between Instagram and Youtube just to get that Corona news and what’s-everyone-doing-on-Tiktok updates.

Here’s the thing: there are thousands of celebs, Youtube channels and Instagram pages that are getting people to get a life & in fact live a less stressful life during this exciting-when-will-it-end period. I’m gonna skip all that stuff you’ve seen and heard and try something new!

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All I want for Christmas

Hello everyone! Christmas is the time of the year where Ruth Kezia decides to blog again. I wish y’all missed reading my rants. But even if you don’t, here’s another one. It feels good to be back after 9 months. So many events have happened throughout this year and if you probably follow me on Instagram, you would have known that we got rid of G in a pretty nice function. I’ve been so busy and here are my 100 reasons for not blogging all these months.

Reason 1 – 100: (it’s the same, just copy + paste)

From the month of March till October, I was basically carrying everyone’s bags, being everybody’s manager/ personal assistant/ shoe-carrier and fashion police until G got married. I spent so much being on the floor at home, in church for her wedding and also for her reception – so much so, that I can tell you how the marble flooring and carpets looked at each place. The unglamourous part of doing all these is – some guests thought I didn’t turn up. Well, they could have bent a bit and found me on the floor (duh).

Now that I’ve closed down my services for the next decade, I kindly demand my close friends who are reading this to not get married for the next 7 years – I’m tired. To reconfirm if you’re close friends with me, please do feel free to contact me via Whatsapp.

Okay now, let’s get back on track.

Life has been good as the only child ❤ and I’ve been enjoying this year’s Christmas too! But all I want for Christmas is …

For my neighbours to be home on Christmas.

I mean they can stay in their houses la until I’m back from Christmas service in church. I really needed their help today and God knows where all of them went. It’s as if the entire row of people who stayed in my housing area wanted to sabotage me.

So this is what happened today. I want to remember this for life.

Vacancy!

Hellooo! Thanks for stopping by at this ungodly hour of the day. But I really needed to talk to someone about my sad relationship with my fridge, kitchen, and FOOD in general. So if you don’t already know, I stay at a hostel during the weekdays which means I have to find for my own food. Previously, even when I used to stay in the hostel, Mrs. Home Minister used to pack a basket full of home cooked food, juices, (inserts all the healthy things in the world here) for me. However, she has kinda abandoned me (on a part-time basis) to look into other matters like checking out Anitha Puspavanam’s Youtube Channel and seeing what pots and pans Saranya Ponvanan bought for her new kitchen. Okay just kidding, Mrs. Home Minister is a quite busy and I thought -> getting my own meals was a grown-up thing to do.

The Wedding!

Omg! Hi everyone! Remember me? I’m Liar Kezia. Eh sorry, I meant Ruth Kezia. Remember the times I had resolutions to blog every week or month or whatever… Naan-sense, just pray I don’t become an annual blogger (you know, blogging once a year)

Before you give me that seruppe adi (whacking with a slipper) for being MIA for a long time, I just want to tell you that I’ve missed blogging for a long long time. Here is a list of excuses I wanted to give for not blogging:

Vanakkam T-shirt

Oh My God. It has been so long. If I planted a mango tree the last time I blogged, I would have started a mango pickle business by now. Geddit? Don’t geddit? Never mind, no time to explain. Every time I feel like updating about something which happened, I don’t have time and then I’m on to the next phase in my life. Like, remember the whole kindergarten episode? I wanted to blog on how I left but that was a long long time back. Now that I want to talk about it I feel that part of my life is outdated and irrelevant. (I guess the kids are married already. jkjk. You get it, they probably have forgotten who Teacher Roo was.)

Now lets come to my weirdly exciting life, where everything happens when you least expect. If you already didn’t know, I was in Chennai last week, for a few days. (cue: Chennaiii, aii, aiii, Chennai Express) 

Youtube

If there was one thing I wanted to do at the beginning of April was to blog every day since I started working at a circus (I mean kindergarten). However, as time passed I thought blogging day in and day out about my circus ventures on taming the kids, yelling at them and my road to discovery on how the heck to make them listen might not be so interesting (especially when its done on a daily basis). So I’ll keep blogging about circus-garten aside and tell you about how life-changing Youtube can be. 

Mood : Swing

Read about my latest venture here and how my first day there was, here. Once you’re done, read the post below.

After having an oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-you-were-so-useless day in kindergarten, I was all geared up for Day 2. Deep down I was like seriously, no no no, I gotta win this. Make all the kids happy! That’s what they come to the kindergarten for. Kids would never understand what you teach them, but they’ll understand how you made them feel. Because till today, I remember, a Godzilla-like kindergarten teacher who yeellllledddd at me to write my ABCs, but thanks to her, I blog today.

I reached ON TIME, not before time. Went in, took my place at my fav spot a.k.a beside the swing and then the kids started coming. S.H.O.W.T.I.M.E 

MESSage

In case you already don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into starting this April, click here.

I promised to update on how Day 1 went, but apparently, my alter-ego “Teacher Roo” had to come up with some art and craft for Parent’s Day. She ended up cutting micro-sized hearts and making a tuxedo out of used toilet paper roll. Karma is a gift from God, it makes you do the thing you have least patience in…

Not bad for a first timer! (note : self-praise is NOT international disgrace)

 

This is already my second week in kindergarten but let me give you a glimpse of what happened last week. Because I want you to know how professional-to-be finds her way amongst 100 boisterous kids, plus, I want to remember this day even in 10 years to come because DAY 1 was a Failure. With a capital F!

Day 1 – What Have I Gotten Myself Into? 

Life in Reverse

Most of my friends are back in college moving on and finishing off their ACCA P-level papers. Guess where am I? Putting a reverse gear which has landed me in one of the places I never thought I would, a circus. Just kidding. But seriously, they should reconsider renaming “kindergarten” to “circus”.

Even before I have people calling me Ms. Ruth, CA Ruth, or Ruth the auditor or Ruth the short fun sized auditor, I have people calling me “Teacher Ruth”. When I stepped out of my kindergarten in 2003, I knew I was definitely coming back someday – and that was to send my kids to school. But fate had it that I should come back earlier than destined as a teacher. 

FEmale! WOmen!

In case you still don’t know what “Sheroes”, “Me Too”, “Press for Progress”, “Women Up”, “Time’s Up”  and when “International Women’s Day” is celebrated, you’ve been living way too long under a coconut shell for a way too long, or either you must be a man.

So people, fe(male) and wo(men), here’s #myPressforProgress.

Cashier to a teacher to an auditor. I’m just waiting to become a Pilot.